I have been waiting to write about this because I needed time to focus my thoughts and get a little bit past all the emotions! I'm still emotional about it all, but do have a little more perspective.
This year I have my mortality to think about more than ever. Believe me, it is not easy to face. At first when Dr. McFadden mentioned a transplant to me my mind was blown. It took all of the Christmas spirit out of me in one big whooosh! The next day at school was pretty hard for me to get through. I had missed several days of school so all the teachers (a wonderful group of caring people) were asking if I were feeling better. It was pretty hard to respond without tearing up. Talking to Mark Van Meter, my principal, was probably the hardest. He is a wonderful, caring, man and handled this emotional wreck (ME) in a wonderful way.
When class started I had scheduled to practice carols with 2nd grade. We sing 2 songs every morning at opening during the Christmas season and have an hour of caroling on the last day before school is out for break. Therefore, we learn lots of Christmas songs! 2nd Grade proceeded to minister to me with their sweet voices. Before long I was able to act more like myself.
Since that day all of my students have lifted my spirits in a way I couldn't have foreseen. There is nothing in this world sweeter than children's voices singing!
I am in a more reflective mood this year. I haven't gone as far out with the decorating, but have decorated. I have gotten my Christmas spirit back to some extent.
As for Dr. McFadden, I told him that I pretty much DO NOT LIKE him anymore. Doesn't he know that patients want to hear good news at their appointments? I definitely need to straighten him out!
Seriously, I am grateful for him. He is a great doctor.
I am finding that my mind is dwelling on the sacrifice our Lord and Savior made for us, all starting at Christmas. I am clinging to the fact that I am God's child and His plans for me are for my good, whatever they are.
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Francy, I read your blog with an aching heart. You are sooooo precious. I am
ReplyDeleteprofoundly grateful that you are Hayley's mom and that we share grandmahood for Molly and a new one coming.I cant think of anyone that I would rather share that with than you. And even more than that I am soooooo glad that GOD is sovereign and very much in charge of you.He is able. "Cast all your cares upon him for He cares for you." I love you. I will pray. Christy